“God it is dark where I am right now, dark. I can’t see any farther than the nose on my face … which to be honest is farther than most people–due to its size.”
That’s a line from my journal during one of my times of loss and despair. It’s followed by:
“How can I write when everything around me is so awful?”
Actually, I wrote in spite of the darkness. Oh, not on the computer with a strict 9-5 rule. And not even on a yellow notepad splattered with spilled coffee and tears at the local coffee shop. I definitely didn’t keep any deadlines.
However, I did detail all my angst in journals, just as I’ve always done. (Let’s not talk about how long!) Later, those same journals translated into several powerful books; powerful because of the painful truths recorded there, even though the eyes of our heart are temporarily blinded to the light. Still it is good to know the truth
It is not a sin to be blind, even temporarily. (John 9:2-3) Let’s not weary ourselves looking for a way out; instead take time to recover. (Genesis 19:11) The darkness may be complicated by physical symptoms. God allows darkness for healing. (Exodus 4:11)
People around us have obligation to help and support us through our trauma. (Leviticus 19:14; Deuteronomy 27:18)
The cure is a little peace, quiet and Jesus time. (Mark 8:23) In the meantime, glorify the Lord. (Matthew 15:31) In due time, we will see the world as we once did … with light. (Psalm 146:8)
“Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompense; he will come and save you. Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped” (Isaiah 35:4-5 NIV).
And we will learn, like Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus that as we go on our way, in our darkness, our blindness, on the path we know to walk with Christ, that our faith has made us whole and the light is on again.
Before we know it, we’ll be back to computers, yellow scribble pads and yes, even deadlines. Why? Because that is who we are. We are writers who use our dead, blind spots as material for our Bible studies, our romance novels, and our fiction.
A writer is one who writes, period. Just write your heart on the page, be true to yourself and to God … and wait for the light.