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Polish Your Work

   

Beginnings & Endings (top)
Leads — Basic Rules
  • Be Accurate. Get your facts, spelling, all details correct.
  • Be Honest. Don’t use a teaser that promises but doesn’t deliver.
  • Be Concise. Be as simple and direct as possible; length depends on length of the piece.
  • Satisfy. Readers want something significant.
  • Clarify. The lead should never leave a false impression.
  • Consider the Setting. Put the lead into context of the rest of the piece; help readers know what will follow.
  • Give it Energy. Use active verbs.
  • Speak to your Readers. Make readers feel like you (or the narrator of your story) are talking to them.
  • Simplify. Make it as simple as possible without distorting the story.
  • Relax, have Fun. Craft several leads; play with them.

Consider these examples of the last rule. Each begins with a similar action, but you know immediately each story is unlike the others. Writing leads like this, without writing the story first, might be a good way to brainstorm for a story.

  • Diane dragged her battered body along the steep incline.
  • Diane frantically pushed through the crowd that had gathered in front of her house.
  • Diane sauntered past three hunks leaning against Gardner's store front. She pretended they were invisible.
  • Diane lurched forward, sideways, forward, careening one way, then the other. Tiny and Boxer strained against their leashes, determined to run different directions. Suddenly a cat darted across the sidewalk in front of them.
  • Diane, her head held high, strode into the room, determined Roxy's presence would never destroy her confidence.
  • Diane skipped along the garden path, stopped, then laughed when she passed the hedge. There is was, right beside the rose bushes—her new swing set!

Questions to Ask (not all will apply to every genre)

  • Where does this story begin? Begin as close to the end as you can!
  • What information can I take out without losing anything vital? Lop off paragraphs until you have one your story cannot live without.
  • What information in my story will affect my readers directly? What would make the reader turn and say, “Now listen to this . . .” ?
  • What will my readers most strongly identify with?
  • What is my slant or specific focus? Clarify it in the lead.
  • How can I be provocative? What will ‘seduce’ my readers? The story must not disappoint them!
  • What is my opinion of the story?
  • What surprised me the most while writing the story?
  • Do I have an anecdote that captures the essence of the story?
  • Will one concrete detail or strong image in the story become a good lead, e.g. the shoe in the middle of a road after an accident?
  • Where is the conflict? What is at stake? Why should anyone read this?
  • Where is the tension in the story? (Not the same as conflict)
  • What are the problems that need to be solved?
  • What is really happening in this story? What is the story’s central event? Is there a key question that must be answered?
  • Is there a metaphor that captures the story?
  • Is the setting or location so vital that it needs to be the lead?
  • What voice/tone/mood will carry the story?
  • Will a good quote work?
  • What connections are there? Pattern in relationships?
  • How will the form affect the lead? (News, narrative, first person, etc.)
  • What is the shape of the story, e.g. concentric circles, flow chart, etc.?
  • Can a generalization, thesis statement, or summary help write this lead?
  • Does the historical context need to be in the lead?
  • What is the POV or point of view in the story? Should I tell this story in first person?

Types of Leads. Leads, like titles, may be grouped into categories. The body determines the type of lead used, thus body and lead work together. Remember, a lead is a promise of what is coming, so the middle must deliver or readers lose interest.

  • Anecdote. This is a story within the story that illustrates or explains your larger point, or leads to a fuller description of a concept. For instance, when writing about time-management and the importance of allowing God to fill us with His peace before tackling our to-do list, I might use this anecdote:

"My daughter and I were buying groceries in a crowded store just before Christmas. Hectic patrons rushed up and down the aisles, bumped carts, jockeyed for the shortest line at the cashiers. I said something to Karen about the pressures of this situation, and she replied, 'But Mom, we don't have to hurry on the inside.'"

  • If you use an anecdote in the body of your piece, it should clarify a point and be self-explanatory. On the other hand, an anecdote used in your lead should leave readers wanting more. The above story creates interest, and while most might grasp its basic meaning, the concept of slowing down on the inside requires further explanation.
  • Descriptive. Start your story or article with a clear, vivid description of a person, scene, object, or other aspect of your topic. Include action if you can. For example:

This sounds crude, but I could smell his presence before he came in the room. He wore about two gallons of cologne or aftershave. I expected flies swarming along behind him, but when he came through the door, there were no flies, just this incredibly beautiful man. I felt like dowsing him with a bucket of soapy water.

  • Direct Address. This lead speaks directly to your readers and usually begins with: "You..." "Most of us..." "Many people..." "We..." "Everyone..."  "Dads..." or any term that describes who will be reading your piece. It can also be an imperative statement: "Don't buy another car before you read this!" Be sure that your lead fits the contents and your market. If writing to children, don't start with, "Mothers, think about this..." nor write an article about repentance that starts with, "Turn or burn..."
     
  • Quote. People are always interested in what other people say, especially if the other person is well-known. It needs to fit the content of your article or story. Permission is needed before using quotes unless they are in public domain. "Fair Use" means you can use short quotes from published material as long as the source is credited.  See our link for quotes.
     
  • Startling Statement. This lead offers statistics, facts, or anecdotes that startle your readers. These must be well-researched (find it in more than one place, especially Internet sources) and accurate. They also need to fit your topic. Watch that any statistics you find are not exaggerated or twisted to suit the statisticians viewpoints.
    An example of a startling statement:

"You always knew elephants could be trained to haul wood and entertain people, but now they know how to use and flush their own toilets!"

  • Statement of Purpose. This tells the reader what to expect in your article. It is written like a thesis statement in an essay, or just presents what will follow. For example:

"In about an hour, you can take one piece of batik fabric and craft it into a small quilt that looks like you used many different fabrics."

  • Summary. News stories often begin with an outline or overview of the main idea, then follow with more explanation. This lead can be used in articles too. For example:

"When Frank Miller bought his first airplane, he had no intention of forcing his wife mille into learning how to fly. But one sunny day, in the cloudless skies above Phoenix, Millie watched in horror as her husband slumped unconscious in the cockpit beside her. She knew a safe landing relied completely on how well she could remember Frank's actions and comments about flying his plane."

  • Survey. This lead offers several examples of a problem or situation that will be fully explored in the article. It often shows how the subject matter will appeal to a wide variety of readers.

"Judy's throat closes every time someone wearing perfume walks into the room. Jerry uses an inhaler but it does not help the tightness in her throat during a spring thaw. Sandy can hardly wait for winter snow to cover the dust. James has to move south in the winter because cold air brings out blotches on his exposed face. No matter the season, you, or someone you know suffers from allergies."
Concise Writing (top)
  • Writers sometimes assume wordy writing makes their work seam more formal, or even more literary. However, editors, publishers and most readers prefer clear, concise expression.
  • Wordiness is often distracting and annoying.
  • Learn how to identify wordy expressions. The writers threatened to continue to remain on strike until their manuscripts were published. >> The writers threatened to remain on strike until their manuscripts were published.
  • Avoid redundancy within sentences: This piece is shorter in length that mine. >> This piece is shorter than mine.
  • Begin sentences by stating your key theme.
  • If wordiness is a problem for you, take some basic English classes, or purchase college-level workbooks and do the exercises!
  • Concise Writing Guide
  • Richard Lanham's “Paramedic Method”
  • The Vocabula Review, requires $9.95 year subscription, “battles careless English”
Editing & Revision Tips & Tools (top)
TIPS

TOOLS

  • AutoCrit - automatically identifies weak words and structures, a tool for cleaning up your writing before you pass it on to your human critique partners.
  • Clear Edit, software add-on that works with Word & Outlook to help you write more clearly
  • White Smoke, e-mail and grammar software
  • Google's Docs & Spreadsheets, space to post documents to share with others, team edit, etc.

BOOKS recommended by InScribers

  • Edit Yourself by Bruce Ross-Larson, W. W. Norton.
  • Getting the Words Right: How to Revise, Edit & Rewrite by Theodore A. Rees Cheney, Writer's Digest Books.
  • Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne & King
  • The Plot Thickens by N. Lukeman
  • Writing the Breakout Novel by D. Maass

Grammar (top)
TIPS

Choose specific, concrete words rather than general, abstract words. For example, pizza is concrete, fast food is specific, and food is general. Other examples:

  1. Bad wood: rotten, warped, scorched, knotty, termite-eaten.
  2. Bad meat: tough, tainted, overcooked, contaminated.
  3. Very big: miles long, the size of the planet Neptune, larger than my Aunt Harriet's pink Cadillac.
  4. A lot of people: ten, thousands, 45% of the population

When to use “myself” in a sentence.

  1. When the subject and object are the same person (Reflexive Case): I fed myself even with a broken arm.
  2. For emphasis (Emphatic or Intensive): I myself have no problem with people who eat worms.
  3. To clarify that the subject has done the action alone or without help: Yes, I made that quilt myself.

LINKS
Hire an Editor (or become one!) (top)
Transitions, Flow, Readability (top)
  • Proofreading tip: Leave your work sit to "get cold" for at least a day. Two weeks is better. Then read it aloud and you will be more apt to notice bumpy places.
  • The Slot A spot for copy editors
  • Send us an article for this section explaining good transitions, achieving flow and making your work readable.
Words: Dictionaries & a Thesaurus (top)
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